Last night’s basic obedience class at Kindred Spirits was the third week in the schedule.
In the previous two weeks, the dogs and owners had been introduced to training skills such as sit, down, stay, watch me, and loose leash walking. Most of the dogs and their owners were showing progress and I was hearing lots of “Yeah! Good job!”
However, one woman was having problems. In speaking with her while we were taking attendance, she said the dog is fine at home but distracted everywhere else. I explained what was going on there, that it was normal, and with practice and maturity her adolescent dog would get better.
But I had a suspicion that something more was going on she wasn’t fessing up to, so I asked my partners at Kindred Spirits, Kate and Petra, to keep an eye on her as I taught the class. Soon, Kate pulled the woman and her dog to the side of class for several minutes.
After class, Kate said the dog, an Australian Cattle Dog, was a gift from her adult son. The woman had not wanted a dog, and she said even if she did, she wouldn’t have chosen a puppy. Additionally, she would not have chosen a cattle dog. Now she’s unhappy with the situation, unhappy with her son, and unhappy with the dog. Not a good combination.
Kate told her that obviously we couldn’t change the situation, but if she wanted to place the dog, we’d help her get in touch with cattle dog rescue. Meanwhile, Kate said “You’re unhappy with the dog and showing your displeasure very clearly, but this situation isn’t his fault!”
This happens far too often. We start two to four new classes a month at KS, and in every class there there are at least one if not two older students who have been given a puppy by an adult child. In the vast majority of the cases the parent did not want a dog, was not given any say as to the breed, and often the breed and/or age of the dog wasn’t appropriate. That just sets the entire situation to fail. How sad for everyone.
Last summer, we had an elderly woman. She told us she was in her late 80s, and her 60 year-old son gave her a Golden Retriever puppy. She would have been happy with an older adult Golden, she said, but not a puppy. Before she came to see us, the puppy had already knocked her down several times, and the last time she was hurt. We told her the best thing she could do at that point was call her son and tell him to come get the dog.
My Mom did get a puppy after my Dad passed away. She debated with herself – puppy versus adult dog – and decided she was still active enough to handle a puppy. She also took the time to research breeds. I answered questions when she asked, but she made her own decision and decided that a Cocker mix puppy would suit her well. It has! Ginger has been great company for Mom.
In many cases, though, I think a dog who is past the puppy and adolescent stage would be a wiser choice, especially if the older owner is having some mobility or health issues. Sometimes, too many people remain stuck in the mindset that only a puppy will do.
I also understand why the adult kids might think that Mom (or Dad) might ‘need’ a dog especially if the parent is living alone. The dog is companionship — loving and affectionate, tough, security, exercise, and social interaction. I know I’m happy that Mom has a dog in the house with her.
But in my humble opinion, the parent needs a say in the decision. He or she needs to be able to say ‘no’ without fear of hurting the adult child’s feelings. The parent also needs to be able to have a say in the breed or mixtures thereof; the size, the personality, the temperament, and the age of the dog. The best scenario would be if the adult child offers to buy the dog and pay future veterinary needs (and if needed, food and toys and other expenses) and let the parent choose her own dog.
Photo credit: Archer as a puppy, Liz Palika.
No comments:
Post a Comment