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Thursday, March 3, 2011

The trip of a lifetime, unless you fall into a vat

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One of the many benefits of being associated with Pet Connection is the occasional perk that floats my way. During my happy association, I have had the good fortune to talk with many a reporter, try out a vacuum cleaner and even receive a super-cool dog bed made out of selected and castoff pieces of Brooklyn for our two mutts.

My latest stroke of luck was being tapped to take a trip across the pond to London. I am not entirely sure what chain of events happened to allow my name to appear on the passenger manifest, but I found myself in a cab this morning headed to the airport. Next stop?

London, baby.

Well, truth be told it’s Chicago, first.  But then – it is off to London.

And what is it that takes me there? Is it to have a spot of tea with the Queen?  Advise Camilla on the proper use of her salad fork? Participate in high-level talks about the United States re-joining Britain and becoming a colony once again?

No, it is none of these.

It is for the very same reason that Conde Nast Traveler says 84 percent of people visit the city on the Thames.

To tour a dog food factory.

The kind folks at Waltham, makers of Royal Canin and several other kinds of high-end and prescription pet foods, have decided to have a small and select group of veterinarians visit their production facilities and nutrition research compound outside London.

Given all the hoopla about diets for pets, and especially with all the crazy recall baloney that has been so prevalent lately, I stand to gain a lot of valuable information about the inner workings of the process. I also am sincerely hoping that I don’t slip and fall into one of the vats along the tour and end up in kibble form, passing through some Great Danes intestinal tract.

I am in Milwaukee right now, sitting in the airport and having a cup of really, extremely, offensively bad coffee. If they gave out prizes for crappy coffee, this one would for sure take the bronze.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, is wearing green and yellow jerseys that say “Packers” on them. It is nice, in these economically troubled times, to see the population supporting the meat packing industry with such a high degree of solidarity.

I am pretty sure that when I touch down in Chicago I will be swept up in a sea of blue and orange jerseys that say “Bears” on them.  (They are apparently big animal lovers down there).

I will post updates to the trip over the next several days (assuming my internet service works over there), and also try and not bring shame upon our country or cause an international incident.

Dog food, man.

I’m totally living the dream.


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