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Standing in the warm sunshine of a San Diego County spring day yesterday, I thought of families: The families we’re born with, and the families we make ourselves. Yesterday, both kinds were much in evidence, as hundreds of people came to pay their final respects to Paul Palika, killed two weeks ago in a motorcycle accident on a rain-lashed California freeway. Paul, of course, was the husband of our Liz Palika, and I flew south to join our Kim Campbell Thornton, her dog Harper, and our Arden Moore at the service.
For Paul and Liz, the blood relatives were there, of course: Liz’s mom, siblings, Paul’s daughter. I’d never met any of them, but was not surprised to find I liked them all.
But more astonishing, really, was the response from the family we make.
Some of these families are forged in service and sacrifice, and such was the case with the many Marines and Navy veterans and active-duty service members who were there (Paul was a Marine veteran, and so is Liz). Some of these folks were also part of the other large group, the Patriot Guard, a motorcycle club that honors veterans. Guard members were not the only motorcyclists there, though: The line of riders coming in to the Kindred Spirits training yard was three miles long, with motorcycles ranging from powerful Harleys and BMWs all the way to Vespa scooters.
And then, of course, the family I came with: Dog-lovers.
Liz is a dog-trainer, and with her partners Petra and Kate she owns Kindred Spirits dog training. Many of the dogs at the service were owned by the training team, but many others came with those who’d come through the program and had Kindred Spirits to thank for their well-mannered companions.
A few other dogs were there as well, alongside neighbors and friends. Despite all the noise, people and dogs, Harper could not have been better, even though I’m pretty sure she was the smallest dog there and the crowd was so large that she was nearly stepped on a few times.
The Palika dogs seemed to know how many came for their family. This was especially true of Bashir, who was working his therapy dog magic on everyone. And anyone who has ever doubted that dogs could grieve need only have spent a few minutes with Archer, Paul’s service dog, to be convinced otherwise. Archer was being protected by Kate, but clearly having a difficult time with his new circumstances. Heart-breaking.
The afternoon was life-affirming in a way I’ve never experienced before, and I can’t help but believe that Paul knew and was smiling.
There’s nothing more important than family, no matter how you make it.
Here is a beautiful newspaper article on Paul.
Consider making a donation to the Kindred Spirits 501(c)3 group to support the training of service dogs. Make checks out to Kindred Spirits Canine Education Center and send them to:
Terry Albert
14021 Earie Lane
Poway, CA 92064
(Top: The Patriot Guard brings Paul’s cremains into the service, courtesy of Kindred Spirits. Above: Memorial pin celebrating Paul and Archer, now on my travel bag.)
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