The aftermath of loss: Archer goes to a new home

To say Archer was devastated after my husband Paul’s death is an understatement. The first few days weren’t too bad. He looked for Paul, but Paul often went on business trips, so being gone for a few days wasn’t unusual. But after three or four days, Archer began having frantic moments, very much like panic attacks. He would come to me, put his paws in my lap, stare deep into my eyes, cry, paw, scratch, jump on me, and otherwise try to communicate with me, all in a panic.

As the days went on, these attacks didn’t ease at all. I tried homeopathics, medications, and combinations thereof. I tried talking to him, communicating in other ways, massage, and everything else I could think of. Keeping Archer well-exercised mentally and physically helped in other ways, but didn’t stop the panic.

As the weeks progressed, I noticed that Archer was distancing himself from me and focusing on every man he knew. When Jeff, one of Kindred Spirits’ trainers, would come on to the training yard, Archer would attach himself to Jeff without a backwards look at me. One of our trainers, Lisa, brought her husband Bill to the yard and he worked Archer one night. Archer was perfect for him and again, never once looked at me.

So after talking it out with several people, I came to the realization that although I love Archer, I am not what he needs. So yesterday Archer went to his new home.

My cousin Jenny and her husband, Dean, came to Paul’s memorial, and had met Archer then. They are long-time Aussie owners and, in fact, have Sisko’s litter brother Harley. They love their dogs as I do and understood my concerns for Archer.

Dean came out from Arizona this past weekend, and when he walked in the front door, Archer attached himself to him and never left him. When Archer had a panic attack that evening, Dean calmed him down and the panic attack was short-lived.

Then Saturday Dean came to the Kindred Spirits’ training yard for a full day of training. He worked Archer in two basic obedience classes, a canine good citizen class, and watched the therapy dog class.  He and Archer played, and when Dean was sitting and relaxing, Archer curled up between Dean’s feet. If a bond between a man and a dog can occur instantly, it certainly did this time.

When Dean and Archer arrived home in Arizona yesterday afternoon, Dean called to say everything was great. Archer traveled well. Archer and Harley (Sisko’s brother) were playing well together and having fun. Archer was behaving himself and getting along fine.

Dean knows that Archer may yet have some bad days even in a new home. But we’re all hoping that the change in location — where nothing reminds Archer of Paul — will help. And, since Archer was so much Paul’s dog and was searching for men, having a male owner again will make him happy. Jenny and Dean will also keep me posted about Archer and hey, since they’re family, I can always invite myself to Arizona for a visit. I’ll wait a few months, though, to give Archer time to settle in.

Photos: Top: Archer as a puppy. Photo by Kathy Usher. Bottom: Archer playing the tennis ball/muffin tin game. Photo by Liz Palika.

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