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Friday, April 8, 2011

What makes men cry? The loss of a pet

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In my more than 30 years of veterinary practice, I’ve seen something a lot of men deny happens: I’ve seen them cry.

In a survey conducted by Men’s Health magazine, only 34 percent of men admitted to shedding tears in the last year, although 98 percent of men questioned said they had cried at least once in their lives.

It’s what makes men cry that was so interesting to a lot of people, so much so that it got picked up by other media outlets.

More than 71 percent of men who have cried — which is 98 percent of all men, remember — say they shed tears when a pet died. Compare that to only 16 percent who say they cried when their child was born.

That statistic didn’t come as a surprise to me. I’ve seen many men break down and sob when a beloved pet has lost his battle with injury or disease.

I often cry with them; the loss of a client’s pet moves me almost as much as the loss of my own. Then again, as I’ve written before, I’m not afraid to cry. I’ve cried at movies and “Chicken Soup for the Soul” stories; I’ve cried when I lost my pets, and when my children were born. I cried with worry when Teresa found a lump, and when my father, Bob, and father-in-law, Jim, passed.

But as a veterinarian, the tears I share with stricken pet owners are very special to me. No other healthcare professionals have the privilege of knowing patients and caring for them from cradle-to-crutches, let alone birth-to-earth.

Many times vets have pulled a puppy or kitten wriggling from his mother and helped him take his first breath, then been there at the end helping insure a gentle passing as he takes his last. We know the pets intimately, and are connected with them emotionally. Added to that is the fact that we interact frequently with the pet’s human family over the years, and we’re truly — and I mean this seriously — part of the circle of life.

While veterinarians don’t look forward to be there with a pet’s passing, it’s a sacred obligation and and honor to do so. We know we’re looking out for the physical and emotional health of both pets and people.

So when otherwise strong and stoic men apologize to me for sobbing over their cat’s lifeless body, or choke up when I tell them their beloved dog isn’t going to make it, I’m glad I’ll have this survey to share with them.

“Don’t worry,” I’ll say, tears in my own eyes. “You’re in good company.”

Photos: Japanese news photo shared by YesBiscuit! Other photos are stock images.


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