Life at the dog park: Who says Darwin nominees have to be human?

Some bird who appears to be too foolish to pass on her genes decided to place her nest of babies in a short tree in our dog park.

You got it: bird nest, short tree, dog park. Can you define filicide?

It is the shortest, smallest tree in the 8-acre park. Needless to say, my English Setter — a bird dog — is 100 percent obsessed with what’s in the nest. Dodger’s not OCD for nothing, you know. He has broken branches trying to get at the nest. He is so obsessed that he loses his typically semi-decent recall and, much to the amusement or disgust of other dog owners, I cannot always call him off. In utter humiliation I sometimes end up chasing him around the tree. It’s kind of like glaring at a driver who nearly nailed you and the driver refuses to even turn his head to look at you. In this case, Dodger is the bad driver.

Usually when I feel this way, I want to flip the bird at someone, but in this situation it’s wrong on so many levels.

Hoping against hope that the babies would be ready to leave the nest soon and thus end their canine harassment, I asked my brother-in-law, David Gjestson, who spent his career as a wildlife expert in Wisconsin’s Department of Natural Resources, when the babies would fly the proverbial nest.

Me: Please tell me the baby birds leave the nest soon. It’s been about two weeks now.

Wildlife Expert: Ya. They’ll hop down on the ground before they can fly and be eaten fast!

Alrighty then. Let’s all join hands and sing about the joys of the food chain or the circle of life.

How long do baby birds stay in the nest? It depends on the species, and I have no idea what species is in the nest, but 10 to 12 days.

That poor mother bird must feel as though she has purchased real estate in a ghetto into which the lowest facets of bird society are cast. Sometimes I know how she feels.

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