Before You Go To Heaven: Helping Terminally Ill Dogs on Death Row

Annie, who finally lived

Two weeks ago we ran a poignant, inspirational guest blog by Ashley Owen Hill, of Lucky Dog Rescue. We’re back again with another powerful post from her.

Maria Goodavage

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I was asked to share the story about what I do for special case dogs on death row in shelters. I do realize that this might not be the most popular idea with all of you, but I’m hoping that maybe it will inspire someone to do the same. If you ever have the chance to do this, it will change your life.

When there are terminally ill dogs on death row, I’ve made the decision to do something very special for them. Because treating these dogs for their conditions would cause them immense suffering, I choose not to treat them. However, I also choose not to leave them in the shelter to be killed. In short, I bring them into my home for a few days. I adopt them into my heart. I love them with all that I have. And then I do what’s best for them, and let them go.

Annie had never known happiness. She had been beaten, neglected, and starved all of her life, and then she was dumped at a shelter to die. Annie waited on death row, terrified and lonely, crying every night for someone to help her. She was very ill, and the pound asked if I was willing to take her. Yep, I’m on my way.

When I saw Annie, it was obvious that she was very sick. She was underweight, coughing, and having trouble breathing, in addition to skin and eye issues. The vet told me that Annie had advanced heartworm disease, congestive heart failure, and several other severe medical conditions. It was highly unlikely that she would pull through any of the treatments, and she would suffer tremendously throughout the process. The vet asked me if I wanted to go ahead with euthanasia. “No. I’ll bring her back next week. Before she goes to Heaven, she needs to know love.”

That day, I brought Annie home with me. I looked at her — so broken, so sickly, so unsure of whether she could trust — and I cried. I sobbed uncontrollably for Annie. Over the sad life she had led, the abuse she had endured, and now the life she would never have, thanks to the worthless people who never cared for her. And while I was bawling like a baby, Annie walked over and licked my tears, as if to say, “Don’t be sad. It’ll be okay.” This precious, wounded soul was comforting me. This girl, who had never known compassion in her life, was consoling me.

Annie with Ashley

And so, I got up, stopped my crying, and vowed to give her the best week of her entire life. No more crying. Not around Annie. She deserves to know only happiness now.

That week, Annie slept in the bed with me. She ate the best food. She played as much as her little heart could stand. She laid next to me on the couch for belly rubs. She laughed at funny movies with me. That week, Annie was home, for the first time in her life.

Every day, Annie and I sat on my special bench by Rudy’s grave and talked to him. I told Rudy that he would have a new friend in Heaven soon, and asked him to take care of her. I told Rudy all about Annie, and Annie all about Rudy. Annie loved our talks with Rudy. She loved anything that involved love. She’d never had it before.

When Annie got so weak that it was painful for her to live, I took her to the vet to end her suffering. I stayed with her, comforted her, and Annie wasn’t afraid. She was happy because I was there with her. Her mom was by her side — the only family she had ever known. The only person who had ever truly loved her. She felt safe.

Annie knew it was time — it hurt too much to go on. And I was there to hold her, to love her, to say, “It’s okay. You can go now, baby girl.” And as they stuck her with the needle, I whispered into her ear, “Know that I loved you. Know that you mattered. Know that you finally belonged to someone — you were everything to me. You will never really be gone, because you will live forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your last days with me. It was truly an honor to love you.”

As the drugs entered Annie’s veins, she looked up at me one last time, and her eyes said, “Thank you. I love you.” And before she closed her eyes forever, I said: “When you get to Heaven, ask for Rudy. Tell him I sent you.”

And then, she was gone. I buried Annie in my backyard next to Rudy. She died on September 14, 2010.

But the week before her death, she finally lived.

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The dogs of Almost Heaven Ranch show off their happy feet

February 6, 2011

Sometimes, this veterinarian is a little bit of a hypocrite.

I’ve been on TV telling pet owners that live in colder climates to keep the hair trimmed between their dogs’ toes so that they don’t get ice balls or soak up salty brine off of the sidewalks and irritate their feet.

It’s good advice, but the truth is, some winters we trim the hair on Quixote’s feet and other times like this year we’re letting it grow out. Why? Because we love what Teresa calls his “furry slippers.”

Quora, on the other hand, has two Ticonderoga #2 pencils for legs, and stands digitigrade (only digits on the ground) like Natalie Portman en pointe in “The Black Swan.”

But just because she stands like a ballerina, don’t think Quora’s a softy.

We live in the wilds of Northern Idaho and have both wolves and coyotes as neighbors. Rather than have a flock guard dog like a Great Pyrenees, Komondor or Anatolian Shepherd, we use Quora as a lethal deterrent. Facing her in her pink outfit, the feared predators would die laughing!

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Amazing Gracie settles in at Almost Heaven Ranch

Folks, I’m just so in love with my little Amazing Gracie I’m probably going to embarrass myself in this post. But I can’t help it.

In case you don’t remember, we adopted Gracie on Christmas Day from Second Chance Animal Adoption in our hometown of Bonners Ferry. Mikkel told the “love at first sight” story already, but I can tell you, it’s gone on to be a real “Love Story” for all of us — well, except maybe for Quora, but my theory is that she’ll come around soon.

I like to think I’m Gracie’s new best friend, and when she’s cuddling in my lap and wriggling and moaning as I give her a full body massage, I probably am. Her rear legs have some kind of deformity, and regular massage helps keep them limber.

But I have to admit, she might possibly love our Golden Retriever, Shakira, best of all. And playing, running and rough-housing with Shakira is probably the best therapy for her hind legs, too. Here’s a photo slideshow of them playing this weekend:

Quixote gets in on the action sometimes, but Shakira and Gracie can play for hours out in the snow on Almost Heaven Ranch.

Gracie spent her whole life since puppyhood in a shelter — they gave me this photo of her, taken on admission — so this is her first experience of being a beloved family pet. I’m so glad Shakira’s here to show her how it’s done!

But I’m sharing a lot of “firsts” with Gracie, too. Just today she tasted an apple I took up to the barn for the horse and went wild for its sweet flavor. She followed me up the steep stairs to the hay loft of the barn but after she made her passes around looking for kibble the cats have spilled, she walked over to the stairs and presented herself for me to pack down (I worry about her going down with those bad rear wheels) the to the ground.

Don’t tell the other dogs (or Teresa or Mikkel, for that matter), but when I give all the dogs a treat every morning, I give Gracie two. Okay, three. I figure she needs lots of spoiling if she’s ever going to catch up.

It snowed hard this weekend, and I got a real kick out of how she goes on her walks with her head down, lapping up snow — something I guess she never got to taste during her life in the shelter.

But our Gracie is an “all-seasons” kind of gal. She loves to lie out in the sun on the grassy area under a big pine tree. No matter how clean the shelter, or well-run, or how loving the people there, there’s nothing to compare with fresh air, sunshine, lots of exercise, and being part of a family!

Gracie’s been playing so much, in fact, that I’ve started her on Rimadyl. And despite the extra treats, I’m making sure she stays lean, to keep her rear legs from carrying any more weight than they have to. After we’ve gotten her loved up and muscled up, we’re going to take her to Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine for a complete checkup, and to see if surgery might not be helpful to her.

So that’s it. I’m in love, and our Gracie’s a real part of the family now. I just couldn’t love her more, and encourage all my readers to consider giving a second chance to one of the amazing dogs in shelters everywhere — even if I did already get the best one!

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