Remain calm: Dr. Becker will be here in less than 24 hours

When “America’s Veterinarian” visits you at home and you have 21 animals it is time to remain calm … or try to, anyway.

I am nervous but excited because our Dr. Becker and his wife, Teresa, are visiting. Dr. Becker is in town is to give a presentation to The Brody Project, an animal-assisted therapy program in Naples, Fla. The night before his speech, I invited Dr. B and Teresa out for dinner.

No, I’m not cooking, since I like these people. But I am a more than a little nervous about them coming over before we got out to dinner. Why? Because they will see how I really live. My neighbors say I should put up a sign, “Welcome to the Basile Fur Palace.”

So how to prepare? My husband refused to replace our carpeting. He said turn off the lights and entertain by candlelight. On my hair-flying frenzy list of to-dos this past week:

Clean turtle tanksClean reef aquariumClean rabbit hutchBrush eight cats (I thought about washing them but even the Becker’s visit get me to do that)Wash three dogsSift sand in Spike’s (bearded dragon) terrarium

I am sure there is a pet that I am completely forgetting about, which is kinda how it goes. … actually, I just remembered one! Sophia, our mentally challenged cat who lives in our bathroom. I need to make sure she is clean. Somehow she missed the gene pool hand-outs where cats groom themselves. And act sane.

Oh, and my kids! Crap. I need to look at them when they get out of school today and see if their nails are trimmed and they have brushed their teeth this month.

But back to the pets: My dogs are do not have  good manners. Quick, I need a 24-hour course on how to teach, sit, stay and down.

Considering everything, maybe I should just drink a liter of vodka and call it a day?

My 10 year old son, Nico, informed me on the way to school TODAY that he needs a mockingbird costume. It is due Monday.

Send vodka back-up.

Photo above is of my cat, Georgia. No, she did not get on the skateboard by herself. Staging these photos is much more fun than actually cleaning my house.

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